Crane Life
Season 4
Season 6

Season 5 of Crane Life contains 24 episode ideas.


Episode list

Title Season # Series #
"A History of Petulance" 1 95

Niles struggles to adjust to his latest promotion, which CEO Joyce Kauffman uses as an excuse to give her workload to someone else. He must search for a new secretary when Holly leaves the city to pursue a new relationship, counsel a troubled couple with a long and confusing history, deal with sexual harassment complaints against Daniel, and bond with newborn daughter Hester. Sebastian persuades Niles to confront Joyce, missing the everyday fireworks that the practice enjoyed when Holly was around. Meanwhile, Daphne feuds with Liz when she appears reluctant to leave Hester in the care of her mother.

  • Joyce Kauffman becomes a main character.
"The Chase" 2 96

Daniel pursues a relationship with Joyce when he finds out she is recently divorced, desiring a distinguished woman to add to his growing list of conquests. However, the chase has him in deep trouble with her ex-husband, a large, brutish man who likes to settle arguments with his fists rather than what Daniel’s best at: negotiation. Meanwhile, Niles and Daphne struggle to make a schedule for the care of Hester and David; and Sebastian deals with items mysteriously vanishing from his lunch cart.

"I Want a New One" 3 97

Sebastian turns to the psychiatrists when his brother Christopher arrives in town seeking help for his failing marriage. Sebastian is torn between his feelings for the woman he has loved since high school and the bond he has with his brother. Going through each psychiatrist, Sebastian learns of their differing therapy methods but realises that none of them will say what he wants to hear. Meanwhile, the psychiatrists are angry when they realise Sebastian has been switching between them like underpants and end up pinning the blame on each other. Niles is trying to learn how to change a diaper when Daphne points out that he’s never done it before.

"Vanished" 4 98

Liz makes drastic alterations to her personality and appearance when Joyce gives a big speech about professionalism among the psychiatrists. Consequently, she becomes devoid of a personality and soon finds herself literally vanishing as she tries to balance between professionalism and her own comfort. Meanwhile, Daphne gets a job working with Sebastian as his lunch cart assistant and is forced to hide Hester from him when the nanny calls in sick.

"Comfort and Joyce" 5 99

Niles discovers Joyce’s crush on him when she calls him into her office wearing nothing but lingerie. This makes him nervous at work, and he is ashamed of himself for calling in sick for the first time in four years. Niles quickly realises the crush may be mutual, and after a surprisingly open conversation with himself in an extended dream sequence, he realises that if he were his psychiatrist, he’d recommend an honest talk with Joyce. Niles goes to the office and finds that Joyce still isn’t entirely clothed; meanwhile, Sebastian is making a wall of employee photos for Joyce and happens to snap a picture of Niles getting an eyeful of Joyce naked in her office. Just what will be going through Daphne’s mind...? And the minds of many startled employees, for that matter. Also, Daniel ropes Liz into going on a disastrous speed-dating course.

"Twelve Freaks of Christmas" 6 100

Twelve days before Christmas, Niles is determined to beat his previous record of cured psychiatrists for this year. Ironically, he realises that he has twelve patients left on his rota. This presents to him a challenge: how can he possibly cure twelve patients in twelve days? Not one to refuse an intellectual test, Niles takes it on and enlists the help of the other psychiatrists to make sure it gets done. This later brings up arguments of whose record the cured patients appear on, and Niles is angry because he felt it was a favour they were doing for him. As they work their way through various patients, Niles starts to lose his Christmas spirit due to the arguments between his friends, and the Grinch-like people he encounters over the twelve days. Daphne encourages Daniel, Liz and Sebastian to help her restore Niles’ faith in the holidays and make sure that his patients are all fixed. Having never counselled someone before, Sebastian takes a strange approach to the task, which leaves Daniel and Liz to pick up the pieces. Meanwhile, realising that late-night shopping in a hectic mall is exactly what Niles doesn’t need, Daphne offers to shop for Joyce’s Christmas presents, a task she gives to an employee every year.

"Fate Fighters" 7 101

Sebastian discovers that Christopher is getting a divorce, and turns to Niles for advice on how to be a supportive brother. Niles thinks back to the time Frasier told him he and Lilith were getting a divorce, unfortunately, because of a recent feud, all Niles could do was flaunt his “successful” marriage to Maris in Frasier’s face. Meanwhile, Daphne wonders if things would have gone differently for Frasier, had Niles been the supportive brother he claimed to be. This brings up the discussion of fate at the practice, and the differing opinions create conflicts among the psychiatrists.

"Someone's in the Closet with Daniel" 8 102

Daniel has trouble developing a bond with his latest patient, a man who is struggling to come to terms with his sexuality. Hoping to make the patient feel better, Daniel stupidly pretends that he is gay, but receives unwanted affection as a result. Daniel realises he must set things straight, and travels to his patient’s house with a reluctant Daphne. Daphne quickly learns why she was brought along when Daniel pretends she is his girlfriend, and the farce spins wildly out of control when the two of them accidentally “out” the patient to his entire family. Meanwhile, Niles feels awkward around Joyce after their office encounter, and after ducking behind the water cooler to avoid detection, he is ashamed of himself for not talking things out with her like a proper psychiatrist. Also, Liz researches the techniques the psychiatrists adopt to bond with their patients, later being accused of thievery by a new arrival.

"Return of Frasier" 9 103

Niles is surprised to learn that his brother, Frasier, has successfully upped his popularity standing across several states, and is due to film a reality TV series where he travels across America to treat patients with problems unique to that area. First on the list is Chicago, and Niles is determined not to show Frasier how proud he is of him for achieving his dreams. Frasier’s success has Niles re-evaluating his own goals in life, as he starts to wonder if he has actually made something of himself. Daphne tries to convince Niles that he is a fantastic psychiatrist and has a beautiful family, but he is secretly craving the fifteen minutes of fame Frasier has managed to acquire. Niles must also choose if he wants to accept Frasier’s invitation to sit in on his first show, feeling that giving his brother support is a sign of weakness and a surrender in their life long one-upmanship. Meanwhile, Niles’ issues with Frasier encourage Daniel to patch things up with the brother he’s never squared things with, but he soon remembers how their feud developed when the arrogant man pays him an unannounced visit.

"Lockdown" 10 104

When a patient gets high in Niles’ office, Niles overreacts and initiates a lockdown of the practice. Each psychiatrist is now barricaded in their office. Liz must deal with a hypochondriac who is scared of confined spaces; Daniel deals with a frightening sex addict, and Niles is determined to help his patient overcome his drug addiction. Meanwhile, Sebastian and Joyce get stuck in her office together, and Sebastian is determined to prove his worth to Joyce by making a plan to resolve the situation, and Daphne waits outside with Hester, who she brought for Niles to take.

"Sebastian Does College" 11 105

When Joyce goes through the safety procedures after a failed fire drill, Sebastian is surprised to learn that it is his responsibility to keep everyone safe in the event of an emergency. Sebastian decides to confront Joyce and ask why he is expected to work outside of his job description. Joyce reveals that it was written in minuscule print on the contract he signed and that as lunch boy, he is the lowest rank at the practice. Upset by this revelation, Sebastian becomes determined to make something out of himself, and he enrols in a psychiatry course at the local community college. Sebastian’s frequent absence forces Joyce to hand the safety duties to another employee, which the psychiatrists fight against. When a real emergency breaks out, the staff must improvise; Liz having neglected the safety pamphlets she was asked to collect. Meanwhile, Daphne searches for the source of an alarm that is keeping Hester awake.

"Failure to Lunch" 12 106

Sebastian decides to leave his job at the practice to focus on his psychiatry career, leaving the spot open for lunch boy. When David complains about not getting enough pocket money, Niles wonders if his son would be allowed to do the job. With his request scoffed at by Joyce, Niles launches a protest at the practice, demanding that the age restrictions be more lenient. This leads to a massive feud with Joyce, who threatens his quest by explaining to the employees just how much of an intrusion many bratty kids would have on their lives. Meanwhile, Daphne discovers Mrs. Winters is stealing from her and worries that telling Liz about it would have a bad effect on their already strained friendship.

"Judgment on the Line" 13 107

On the night before Daphne’s birthday, Niles frantically searches for a present, having lost track of time with a patient. He then makes the worst judgement call of his life after stopping on a street corner, mistakenly thinking that a prostitute is a model for a nearby women’s clothing store. Niles and the prostitute are arrested, but the police have trouble believing his story. Daphne posts bail for Niles but doesn’t look at him on the journey home. Niles struggles to explain the truth without letting slip the fact that he forgot about her birthday, and realises that he still hasn’t found her a gift. The next morning, Niles deals with the media running rampant about his personal affairs, and faces reprimands from Joyce at the practice for his back-alley shenanigans. On top of things, Niles must find the perfect present for Daphne before the day is out. Meanwhile, Liz and Daniel plan a surprise party for Daphne, and unwittingly hire the same prostitute Niles encountered, who happens to double as a professional party planner.

"A Question of Ethics" 14 108

Liz develops a crush on and sleeps with the new lunch-boy, only to discover that he is a seventeen-year-old high school student temping for the practice. Liz struggles to deal with this revelation and deals with her first real ethical decision. Liz consults her friends for advice, which leads to flashbacks of their first moral decisions. In his early days as a psychiatrist, Niles debated whether to rat out a brilliant psychiatrist who copied off his final exam due to nerves. Daniel recalls his very first week at Mead Psychiatry and his messy breakup with the coffee girl. And Daphne remembers the biggest decision of her life when she had to choose between an uncertain future with Niles and marriage to another man. Liz eventually decides to break things off with the lunch boy, and confess all to Joyce. Liz gets an unexpected reaction from Joyce, who laughs about it, saying it’s happened to her tonnes of times.

"Eulogy of Terror" 15 109

Joyce’s ex-husband dies, and Niles encourages the psychiatrists to do whatever they can to help her in her time of grieving. Niles winds up being handed the task of writing a eulogy for the man, a task made difficult because they never met. Daniel is convinced that Joyce is only using her grief to get everything done easily, and becomes determined to expose her game by reminding her of why she loved the man so dearly. Daniel’s plan has Joyce in uncontrollable tears; while Niles meets Joyce’s bizarre family at a dinner party in his quest for information about the deceased. Meanwhile, Daphne is in charge of flower arrangements, and feuds with Liz over the correct type of flower for a funeral service.

"David v. Hester" 16 110

Daphne is dismayed to find that David has developed a grudge against Hester for all the attention she and Niles have been giving her. Daphne encourages Niles to take David for a “guy’s day out”, hoping to show him that he is still loved no matter what. Niles struggles to find an activity to do with David, feeling that taking him to the opera would ruin his independent thought, and throwing a ball with him would be embarrassing either way. Niles is driven into an analysis of himself as a father when he realises he is unable to see what sort of person David wants to be. Back at home, Daphne makes a surprising discovery regarding Hester’s newfound ability to projectile vomit and begins to see that maybe there is more to David’s little grudge against the baby. Meanwhile, Daniel and Liz get trapped in Joyce’s office when they search for evidence of a possible pay increase and find out what their strict boss really thinks of them after uncovering the yearly performance reviews.

"The Prestigious" 17 111

Niles, Liz and Daniel discover they have been juggling the same patient for the last month, a drug-seeking hypochondriac who believes he is going crazy. When one of them doesn’t come through for him, he turns to another until they get out their prescription pads. The three of them opt to confront him and treat him together, only to find the practice has received a lawsuit for the stress they have caused him. Niles is more concerned about how a patient managed to beat him at his own game, and his desire to find out the truth becomes a growing obsession. Meanwhile, Joyce hires Daphne as her personal assistant, admiring her boldness in clothing choices, but really wanting to mould her into her own protégé.

"Niles Mediator" 18 112

Niles is inspired by a patient to find personal time for himself to relax and read a book. However, this quest is no easy task, as Niles comes to learn. Daniel and Liz won’t stop hassling him for advice about patients; Joyce has forced him to give potential donators a tour of the practice, and Daphne is feuding with a neighbour. Niles realises that, to acquire the peace he craves, he must resolve everyone’s issues, but he is unhappy with the image of a mediator that everyone has painted him out to be.

"Big Seb on Campus" 19 113

Daphne and Daniel decide to pay Sebastian a visit on campus and discover that he is enjoying college life a lot more than an adult should. He is back to his old nickname Seb and is viewed by every other student as a wild party animal. Daphne worries that Sebastian is neglecting his psychiatry studies and decides to have an open talk with him, but later feels she has deprived him of one of life’s greatest experiences when he is shunned by his new friends as a nerd. Meanwhile, Daniel accidentally gets involved in a fraternity hazing; back at the practice, Liz discovers the lunch-boy is leaving Chicago for college and debates whether to talk to him before he goes. Joyce is against this, afraid that it will open the door for several potential lawsuits, while Niles goes against Joyce and says that there is nothing more important than achieving closure.

"A Rich Woman's World" 20 114

Joyce discovers her fourth husband (and the one who made her rich) has put a stop on her expense account, leaving her with the biggest financial crisis of her life. As this month’s morale officer, Niles reluctantly rallies the psychiatrists to help Joyce out however they can. Unfortunately, general disdain against Joyce leaves her in a worse situation when the head of Mead Psychiatry berates her for letting her employees go a whole day without working, instead trying to raise money for her financial issues. Feeling responsible, Niles invites Joyce to move in. Daphne is not pleased with this new development, remembering Joyce’s crush on Niles and their chaotic office moment a few months earlier. Daphne is jealous of the budding friendship between Joyce and Niles but is more than happy to show Joyce the “wonders” of no longer being fabulously wealthy. At the practice, Daniel and Liz’s patient load overflows after the fundraising day, so they start looking for a moonlighting psychiatrist to do some of the work for them.

"The Burden of Knowledge" 21 115

Niles and Daphne suffer through a visit from Simon Moon, who is in Chicago applying for jobs after being blackballed across Manchester. Daphne fears the worst when Joyce gets an apparent crush on Simon and uses her connections to get him a job at the practice as a security guard. Niles, seeing that Simon is just the sort of person they need to get Joyce out of the house, will do anything to stir up a relationship between the two annoyances. Niles’ quest is made even more complicated when he discovers Simon only wanted a one-night stand. Joyce remains love-struck after their first date, and for the first time, she even starts to forget about her money troubles. Meanwhile, Liz and Daniel help Sebastian study for an exam, and Sebastian discovers the “burden of knowledge” when he is now able to notice the flaws in his friends.

"Just What the Doctor Ordered" 22 116

Niles is delighted when he receives a visit from one of the very first patients he treated, a sensitive guy struggling to deal with OCD, now a successful, confident businessman. This inspires Niles to seek out his former patients and see how they’re doing, but he is not too pleased with the result. Consequently, Niles debates whether psychiatry is right for him. After seeking counsel from his friends, he looks back at the events that have made him a firm believer in the profession through a series of flashbacks.

"Sunny Side of the Sheet" 23 117

Daphne is delighted when she discovers a whole collection of wedding presents she neglected to open and spends the day unravelling the surprises with Liz. Although most of the presents turn out to be cheap stuff she’ll never use, Daphne is pleased when she receives the wedding gift she wanted the most: luxurious silk sheets. The next morning, Niles comes down with a rash and is forced to stay at home for the day; which leaves Daniel with a new group of students at the practice. Daphne refuses to admit that it was the sheets that caused Niles’ rash, cherishing the one thing she’s asked for and actually received. Meanwhile, Daniel becomes drunk with power as he gives the students an introductory tour, which impresses Joyce.

"Many Happy Returns"

24 118

Daphne decides to organise an elaborate, multi-part event for Niles’ birthday, beginning with the launcher party at the practice. She persuades Daniel and Liz to make a guest list, omitting the employees Niles avidly dislikes. However, Joyce kicks up a fuss when she doesn’t receive an invitation, and ends up teaming with the other rejected staff to make a rival party. Meanwhile, as part of a new contract, Joyce made him sign, Niles is on his yearly visit to a mental health hospital, where he must counsel several patients throughout the course of the day. Niles winds up getting stuck in the hospital with Sebastian (who is in attendance for his latest exam) when a crazed patient sends the place into a lockdown. As the parties get underway at the practice, Joyce has various tricks up her sleeve to get as many guests as possible, and even manages to lure Daniel away by subtlety suggesting that he’s the #1 choice for a multi-benefit job in New York City. Soon Daphne and Liz are the only ones left at the party for Niles, and the one-upmanship contest spins wildly out of control, escalating to the point where Niles must resolve the situation over the phone from the hospital. For Niles, this is the last straw; now sick to death of being the mediator to everyone’s troubles. Consequently, he is thinking about getting himself a place in one of the cosy, padded hospital rooms.

  • Dr. Daniel Bird's last appearance as a main character.

Episodes (Season 1 • 2 • 3 • 4 • 5 • 6 • 7 • 8 • 9 • 10 • 11)

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