Crane Life
Season 5
Season 7

Season 6 of Crane Life contains 22 episode ideas.


Episode list

Title Season # Series #
"Lifestyles of the Rich and Infamous" 1 119

Daphne fears that Niles is going through a mid-life crisis after she uncovers a list of bizarre things he wants to do before he dies. Among them being skydiving (an outlandish task he feels all good psychiatrists must go through), walking his daughter down the aisle, and confronting the doctor who made his med-school years a living hell. Daphne tries to compromise with Niles, feeling that anything he attempts will either end up in death or further despondency. Back at the practice, Liz is eager to hone her skills and council Niles. Meanwhile, Sebastian, the latest addition to the psychiatry staff, endures one of Joyce’s endless inductions with James Turner, a transfer from the England office. Sebastian is determined not to be like the other psychiatrists, whom he’s always viewed as snobby and distant, but after discovering that James' competitiveness impresses Joyce, Sebastian begins to re-think his career goals.

  • Dr. James Turner becomes a main character.
"Students Grow Up So Fast" 2 120

Liz struggles to keep her students under control, so she enlists Niles to give her lessons in guiding them towards greatness. When their methods differ, they decide to split the group into two, with Liz’s’ students turning into unreliable monkeys and Niles’ students struggling to keep up with his demands. The two of them soon realise that things worked much better when they were together, but neither one is willing to admit these uncomfortable truths. Meanwhile, James tries out various accents; Sebastian adjusts to life in the dingiest office, and Daphne helps Joyce quit smoking.

"Different But the Same" 3 121

Sebastian is shocked to learn that his former friends in maintenance view him as a different person now that he is a psychiatrist. Determined to prove that he is the same guy he always was, Sebastian invites himself to their weekly poker game, intent on letting them win for a change. However, the janitor quickly picks up on his scheme, and Sebastian is accused of patronising them. Not willing to give up, Sebastian starts acting like his old self, even around patients. This has dire consequences for the practice, which Niles must resolve. Meanwhile, James starts to get homesick, and meets Daphne when she comes to pick Hester up from day-care. They have fun talking about England until a comment from James has Daphne worried that she has become too American and has forgotten about her heritage.

"The Two Joyce Kauffmans" 4 122

Liz is irked when nobody spots her new hairstyle and seeks advice from Joyce about “owning” rooms when she enters them. Joyce soon has Liz being the talk of the water cooler and moulds Liz into her own little protégé. However, the others are not pleased with how different Liz has become, but James likes her sassy new persona and seeks out a relationship with her. Joyce subsequently grows jealous of Liz’s popularity status, and the calamity has Niles imagining the practice as a high-school. This fantasy includes Daphne on the skimpy cheerleading squad, James in a clique of nerds, and Sebastian as an oafish jock. Niles must think back to his own high-school days to resolve the situation, because as Joyce says, “there can only be one Joyce Kauffman." Back in reality, Daphne seeks out her old yearbook and becomes convinced that her favourite teacher was a mass murderer.

"Darling, I Love You Sometimes" 5 123

Niles deals with having Daphne around at the practice, feeling that his two lives are colliding in a way he didn’t want. Daphne fears that Niles doesn’t like her; however, he finds it difficult to counsel patients with her around because he loves her a little too much. Daphne seeks advice from Joyce about couples working together but is consequently banished to the filing department. There, she learns of a long history of loving couples who tried working together but wound up separating. Daphne is determined to set an example to them all by showing her marriage to Niles can survive, even if he wishes to pretend it doesn’t exist at times. Meanwhile, Sebastian is annoyed with Joyce for removing Daphne without asking first and looks for information on exploiting her weaknesses. Joyce recognises this threat, but the two of them end up succumbing to an unlikely attraction with a tryst in her office. James bears an unfortunate witness to these events after hearing a sneak preview of their fun over the intercom.

"It's Raining Mentors" 6 124

The psychiatrists deal with Joyce’s latest implementation at the practice, Mentor Week, in which they are encouraged to invite those who inspired them to join the profession, or helped them along the way. Niles is surprised to find that he and James share the same mentor until he discovers they were both applauded as his very favourite student. When it is learnt that their mentor has died, Niles becomes obsessed with getting some answers, culminating in a visit to the family home where his widow now resides. James fears he has ruined his reputation for insulting the top psychiatrist until Liz reveals everyone loves messing with Niles. Meanwhile, Daphne comes on as Sebastian’s new secretary.

"And the Horse You Fell Off" 7 125

Niles struggles to counsel a patient who fell off a horse and may never move again. Previously successful therapy techniques prove to be useless without motion, while Niles carefully tries to avoid saying the wrong words after a big speech from Joyce about lawsuits. Seeking insight from his friends, Niles decides to put himself in the patient’s shoes and rely on someone else to get him through the day. Hoping to give Niles a lesson in acceptance, Liz happily takes on the task, and her plan has them going horse-back riding for the full experience. The day is a disaster as Niles initiates an obsessive grooming regimen before even stepping on the horse, and Joyce won’t stop hounding him about the legal ramifications for the practice. Meanwhile, admiring Niles’ ability to go the distance for his patients, Sebastian wants to do the same thing for a married couple he’s counselling. However, he faces competition from the achingly perfect James. Daphne takes up Spanish lessons to impress a potential investor, listening to the tape all day and consequently missing important deadlines.

"Whatever Floats Your Botox" 8 126

Niles, James, Sebastian and Liz band together to council Joyce, who has become addicted to botox after winning a free procedure. Feeling it is their duty as psychiatrists, they agree to spend their weekend at the practice, locked in her office with her so she can’t sneak out for any more procedures. However, Joyce manages to double-cross them, and it is her who ends up walking free, with them locked inside. It is then the psychiatrists find their sneaky sides taking over as they work together to send Joyce on a guilt trip and ultimately get her over her botox addiction, at any cost. As their intentions become more distant, the psychiatrists find themselves turning against each other. At the same time, Sebastian is trying to hide his tryst with Joyce from the others. Meanwhile, with Niles away all weekend, Daphne is left to face the music after it is found that David has been bullying a classmate in school.

"No Bone About It" 9 127

Sebastian’s rivalry with the achingly perfect James continues as James shaves his own hair in support of a patient who was diagnosed with cancer. Sebastian becomes determined to one-up James and signs up to donate some of his bone marrow. As Sebastian hears stories of rare occurrences when the procedure went wrong, he begins to chicken out, disappointing James’ patient and leaving Niles to face the music back at the practice. Meanwhile, Daphne discovers Hester has been disrupting sing-along time at the practice day-care; and Liz deals with emotional wreck Joyce after she was stood up for a lunch date.

"Sophie's Joyce" (Part 1) 10 128

Liz deals with an uncontrollable urge to jump on a strikingly handsome patient, who is seeking therapy for a particular dysfunction he acquired after a horseback incident. Liz tries to convince herself, and others, that a pretty woman is exactly what the patient needs, but after Joyce catches them making out in her office, she is fired from the practice. It is a relief for Joyce, who was told by her superiors at Mead that at least one paycheque needed to be obliterated this year. However, Liz feels her dismissal was unfair and faces up to several Mead executives at the head office in New York City. There she runs into Daniel Bird, newly transferred to the office. Daniel is having trouble taking an unbiased viewpoint because Liz is an old friend. Meanwhile, back in Chicago, Niles, Sebastian and James are afraid they will be next in line for Joyce’s harsh cutbacks. Their paranoia escalates to the point where Joyce must make a public announcement; in which she reveals a little too much information about the practice’s financial situation. Joyce consequently finds herself fired for exposing a planned wave of firings, leaving a temporary position open in Chicago which Liz is all too happy to take.

"Sophie's Joyce" (Part 2) 11 129

With Joyce’s firing, Liz temporarily takes on her position as head of the Chicago practice but finds that she knows nothing about being a respected, good leader. Daphne runs into Joyce at the local supermarket, wearing drab clothing and looking depressed. Feeling sorry for her career’s downfall, Daphne asks Niles to persuade Liz into giving Joyce work. Liz agrees and enlists Joyce as her new receptionist. Joyce has trouble adjusting to her new demotion and continually frustrates Liz by disobeying her requests. Soon, however, the two of them are uncovering more evidence about the possibility of more employees getting the axe. Joyce slowly comes to accept her new demotion; of course, she won’t admit it. In the meantime, Niles fears that he faces reprimands for bringing Joyce back, slowly realising she may be finding out more than the New York office had hoped. Meanwhile, James reveals he once ran the London practice, and Sebastian becomes determined to find out why he was transferred to America in a lesser position. James admits he was involved in a power-play with Noah Mead, son of the company’s late founder, who was concerned with the threat he allegedly posed.

"Flirting with the Enemy" 12 130

Sebastian and James vie for the attention of a sexy new psychiatrist, Laura, the latest transfer from the New York office. When they manage to embarrass themselves on a daily basis due to their less-than-stellar flirting skills, the two of them fear reprimands from Noah Mead after discovering Laura is his baby sister. Sebastian and James must put aside their differences to make amends with the Mead family, and Laura, after learning more about her sticky romantic past. Meanwhile, Daphne arranges a surprise party for David’s eleventh birthday, and Niles spends the entire day preventing chaos among his family when it turns out that David would rather spend time with his friends.

  • Dr. Laura Mead becomes a main character.
"Swap Meet" 13 131

Niles is intrigued by a patient of Sebastian’s, Miles, who is like himself in many ways, but depressed. Niles tries to convince Sebastian to switch the patient’s therapy over to him; Sebastian agrees, but only if he can get Niles’ hypochondriac and a couple of adulterers. As Niles becomes determined to get to the root of Miles’ issues, Liz is less than happy with this new trend of “patient-swapping” and wants to put an end to it. The situation spins out of control when James is swindled into accepting a patient who hates all men, and Niles questions his own happiness because of the startling similarities between him and Miles. Meanwhile, Joyce struggles to keep up with all the paperwork required for each patient swap and seeks help from the new transfer Laura Mead. When Joyce realises just how far Laura is willing to go to distinguish herself from her much-despised family, she sees it as an excuse to relax for the day and leave it all to her.

"We Are the Psychiatrists" 14 132

When Daphne is approached by one of Niles’ patients to write a book on her visions, she is thrilled. However, the psychiatrists are jealous that her little “scam” is getting all the recognition while their skills are shunned. This causes feuds among the staff, and Niles fears that siding with Daphne will destroy his credibility as a respected psychiatrist. Niles is forced to decide what is more important to him; as Daphne begins to question herself as a psychic due to years of close-mindedness. The charade spins further out of control when Daphne discovers the only reason Niles’ patient learnt about her visions was that Niles used them as an example of covering up one’s true feelings. Meanwhile, Laura finds that introducing herself as a Mead is having a bad effect on her social life.

"The Ethic of It" 15 133

Noah Mead announces an obligatory ethics seminar for all staff at the Chicago and New York practices to attend. When Noah’s car breaks down, Niles, Sebastian, James, Liz, Daniel and a mix of psychiatrists from New York are left waiting in the conference room for him. Niles brings up the subject of a world without ethics, and the characters imagine themselves in such a place. In this fantasy, Niles, the usual slave to his ethics, doesn’t give a damn about saying the right thing and treats his patients as a joke. Sebastian tries to make heads and tails of his trysts with Joyce, and exposes their relationship to the staff, regardless of what she wants. James is no longer the achingly perfect guy he was and takes a lax attitude towards everything, which lands him in trouble with the husband of a woman he’s been charging $200 per hour for therapy. Liz abuses her powers as head of the Chicago practice, and Daniel becomes a back-stabbing business monster. Meanwhile, Daphne figures she can get lots of money by unnecessarily prolonging the physical recovery of her new employer; and Laura pretends to be from another family who happen to be named Mead.

"The Feign Mutiny" 16 134

Liz is startled to learn that an anonymous call from one of the psychiatrists has made Noah Mead re-consider his decision to keep her as acting manager of the Chicago practice. This results in the arrival of former CEO Andrew Sharp, who left the practice two years earlier to pursue his lottery winnings, only to find it was all a scam. Sharp gives a big speech to the staff, saying how he’s going to “clean up the mess Liz made” and keep things under control for once. Niles, Sebastian, James and the others are soon suffering under Sharp's dramatic changes to the practice, and they start to consider setting a mutiny in motion. Meanwhile, Laura refuses to believe her father would make Noah the head of the family business and enlists Joyce to help her look into the will proceedings.

"We'll Always Have Maris" 17 135

Niles is horrified to discover his next patient will be Maris. Never able to turn away a patient, Niles reluctantly agrees to council Maris but will do anything to make sure the news doesn’t get to Daphne. The entire floor is soon thrown into the charade, as Sebastian, James and Laura are amongst the psychiatrists who will stop at nothing to prevent Daphne from walking into Niles’ office. Daphne soon becomes suspicious of their behaviour, and heads to the building across the street, hoping for a peek into the office. Daphne’s curiosity is confirmed when she sees what appears to be a short stick lying on the couch, weeping. Daphne doesn’t tell anyone what she found out, hoping to make Niles sweat a little and see how long he plans on keeping it a secret for. To Daphne’s surprise, Niles spent the entire session feeling guilty for not telling her, and Daphne, feeling ashamed of herself, decides to give Niles the last push he needs to truly get Maris out of his life. Meanwhile, Andrew, annoyed with the new filing system Liz implemented, retaliates by giving her the most distant parking space on the premises.

"David the Kid" 18 136

When Daphne discovers that David has been stealing Hester’s puddings, she feels ashamed of herself for unknowingly letting it happen. Niles fears David has entered his rebellious stage a little early and tries to prevent it by taking him for a day of fun activities to remind him that he is still a kid. However, this plan contradicts Daphne’s decision to be more strict with David, which in turn makes him less of a kid than ever before. Meanwhile, Sebastian is even bested by James in the romance department when they vie for the attention of the “sexily mature” Laura; and sour Joyce makes Liz’s recent demotion a misery when Andrew puts them in neighbouring offices.

"X Marks the Spot" 19 137

While remodelling his office, Sebastian is shocked to uncover what appears to be a treasure map hidden embedded in the walls. Hiding it from James and Laura, he enlists Liz and Joyce to help him locate the elusive 'X.' In a flashback to three years earlier, Will, Jon and Sally fight over a clip of money they have found. The trio agrees to hide it to prevent arguments but arrange a series of puzzles and a map for future generations to discover. In the present day, Sebastian, Liz and Joyce have turned the practice upside down looking for the ‘X’, and James and Laura are getting suspicious. Seeking solace in each other, they realise their position as “least liked” of the office, and debate why. James starts to question if he is too perfect, and Laura wonders if she is trying too hard to distinguish herself from her family. The two of them agree to locate the ‘X’ themselves, deciding if they are to be disliked, they at least need just cause. It soon becomes a race against time, with Niles once again mediating the chaotic situation. However, greed corrupts the minds of even the best psychiatrists.

"I Kid You Not" 20 138

Niles and Daphne are forced to take the kids into the practice when a series of seemingly unrelated events result in all potential caretakers being unavailable. David and Hester soon throw the office into chaos as they intrude on several therapies in critical moments, infuriating Sebastian, who was close to saying goodbye to his first ever patient. Niles’ reputation is damaged as a result of his kids’ misbehaviour, and he later realises the others view him as a bad father. Determined to prove them incorrect, Niles adopts a child-handling technique he learnt about in medical school, but once again falls short of utilising his psychiatry skills when it comes to his family. Daphne battles it out with a snooty psychiatrist who views herself as the perfect example of a mother. Meanwhile, James and Laura agree to counsel patients together after an interruption from David causes them several setbacks, and get into trouble with Andrew after their passion for psychiatry results in them kissing – in front of a patient who has a particular “love” dysfunction. Joyce picks more fights with Liz.

"The Niles Crane Experiment" 21 139

As James and Laura deal with the aftermath of their little office tryst, an amused Niles observes from afar as the two young lovebirds deal with something so new to them. However, he is surprised to find they would rather pretend it didn’t happen and becomes fascinated with the concept of denial. Niles’ choice to observe the psychiatrists around the practice receives mixed signals; Daphne accuses him of spying on people; while Sebastian welcomes anything that will help him climb the corporate ladder. Niles’ quest falls apart when he inadvertently reveals James and Laura’s “relationship”, and they consequently become the talk of the water cooler. Meanwhile, Joyce is convinced that Andrew allowed Niles’ project because he wanted to shake his employees up and “cut loose” anyone who comes across as weak... and Liz may be one of them.

"I Don't Like Fridays" 22 140

Andrew Sharp announces a mandatory conference for every employee at lunchtime, and Niles is among the few debating what it could be about. Meanwhile, James and Laura have elected to be sex buddies, and are finding places to let off steam after tricky patients. They soon find a mystery closet and uncover a document which suggests that mass firings are on the way. They repeat this to Niles, who is appalled by the “back-stabbing business” Mead Psychiatry has become. This drives him to confront Noah Mead himself at the New York head office, consequently forgetting the conference and forcing the others to make up excuses for his absence. Niles returns home and starts packing his things, and must take Daphne with him when she believes it to be her anniversary present (which he neglected to buy.) On their arrival in New York, Niles must keep up the charade and pretend everything is for Daphne, while intent on confronting Noah Mead. Back in Chicago, the other psychiatrists make up excuses one by one to leave the conference, leaving Liz alone to face the music. Andrew confesses that she is a “good psychiatrist”, but not a great one, and he needs to decrease the numbers. Agreeing with his comments, Liz proudly strides out the door, looking back at her time at Mead with fond memories. As Sebastian, James, Laura and Joyce arrive in New York, they inadvertently ruin Niles’ cover story, which lands him in hot water with Daphne. Daphne is upset and sick of the lack of communication in their relationship. She tells him she is going back to Manchester for a while. Niles, stunned by this development, feels his confidence shaken and is unable to confront Noah. The others rally around to help him, and to add insult to Niles’ injury, the five of them find themselves fired along with everyone else at the Chicago practice after their revolt gives Noah Mead the incentive he needs to close one of the family businesses. Lamenting their failures at a cocktail bar, Niles is left wondering where his career, co-workers and marriage are headed next.

  • Dr. Liz Winters's last appearance as a main character.

Episodes (Season 1 • 2 • 3 • 4 • 5 • 6 • 7 • 8 • 9 • 10 • 11)

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