Crane Life
Season 8
Season 10

Season 9 of Crane Life contains 24 episode ideas.


Episode list

Title Season # Series #
"Everyone's Special at Mead Psychiatry" 1 189

Niles and the psychiatrists are forced to deal with a sudden influx of patients when the practice across town closes. Niles is perplexed as to why he is so able to help people with their problems but somehow cannot deal with his own. Daphne is urging him to try marriage counselling because of the mistrust and lack of communication in their relationship. Niles reluctantly agrees (on a trial basis) but is dismayed to learn the psychiatrist Daphne has chosen is his long-time rival from medical school, and now his number one contender for Daphne's heart. Meanwhile, Laura's day is thrown off course when Sebastian unexpectedly proposes to her, and she is left wondering if he did it for the right reasons. Ron and his ex have agreed on split custody for Justin, putting his work schedule in a jam. Though this is a happy compromise for Ron, Grace is less than agreeable when ditzy new regional manager Edith Beaumont asks her to take on a barrage of Ron's patients.

  • Edith Beaumont becomes a main character.
"Have a Brownie" 2 190

Niles has trouble adjusting to Edith Beaumont's management style when she encourages the employees to share their feelings and generally be more relaxed at the practice. The other psychiatrists are immediately taken to Edith's suggestions, and soon less work is getting done than ever before. Niles decides to confront Edith about his concern. She invites him to sit down so they can talk things through, and offers him a brownie. To Niles' surprise, he later finds out this is a pot brownie after experiencing a long and strange trip, much to the amusement of his friends. Niles is furious with Edith's for getting him high and considers alerting the police but fears he will face reprimands from Edith's fans if she is removed. Edith is overcome with guilt for making a mistake about what Niles wanted when he came into her office and tries to make amends by asking Daphne what sort of gifts Niles likes. Daphne is lead to believe that Niles and Edith are having an affair, which doesn't exactly help their progress in therapy. Meanwhile, Laura tries to find a way of telling Sebastian she needs some time alone when the baby has him constantly on her tail.

"The Agreement" 3 191

Andrew Sharp returns from a much-needed vacation and runs into June Archer at the social security office. June agrees to help Andrew get his job back as manager of the practice if he creates a position for her there. Andrew is initially reluctant but gives in to June's offer once he sees his paycheque. While running some errands for Edith late at night, Daphne encounters Andrew and June snooping around her office. Andrew explains everything and Daphne agrees to help them dig up some dirt on Edith. As the plan gets underway, Andrew and June see their potential as powerful business partners. The next morning, Daphne is horrified to learn the two of them have run away together to conquer bigger and better businesses across America, leaving her to clean up the mess they have made. Meanwhile, Ron enlists Grace deal with Justin's court-appointed, out-spoken new nanny, whom he is unable to fire due to his ex's hold on her.

"Safety Nets" 4 192

Niles is having trouble balancing between counselling patients and attending his own marriage counselling with Daphne, and a build-up of stress results in him lying down in his office and blurting out all his problems to a patient. This foolish act means the patient now knows everything from how Niles and Daphne met to the goings-on in their bedroom. Niles immediately regrets divulging the information and asks the patient to keep everything silent; however, it is apparent that it will come with a price. Daphne is unhappy with their counsellor and is considering making a change, so she goes to Ron. Ron is annoyed with Daphne after she made it seem like she wanted him, but she really only wanted a referral. Subconsciously angry with the lack of work Edith has given him since his problems with Justin, Ron strikes back by recommending the worst psychiatrist in town. Daphne fears she has blown Niles' social standing after leaving a message on the psychiatrist's answering machine for his whole office to hear. Meanwhile, Laura starts to fear Sebastian will bail after talking to some single mothers, so she goes ‘safety net'-hunting with Grace.

"I Now Pronounce You Unemployed" 5 193

Sebastian and Laura's forthcoming wedding hits another snag when Edith unexpectedly fires Sebastian from the practice, in a planned series of changes. Sebastian decides to claim unfair dismissal, and he takes Mead to court. Realising she doesn't really love Sebastian, and that an unloving marriage is not the best decision for their baby, Laura uses their financial strain as an excuse to call off the wedding. The trial gets underway, but Sebastian isn't feeling confident after his break-up with Laura. Edith eventually agrees to take him back on at the practice, as lunch-boy again. Meanwhile, Niles is convinced Edith is only making harsh decisions to see how much she can get away with in the eyes of Mead, and tries to convince her to calm down a little. This well-intentioned act has him sharing an office with Ron, which hurts their working relationship and causes Grace to fight for Niles' old space.

"The Bench Connection" 6 194

With half his office being used by Ron and Hester in a screaming phase, Niles finds that he has nowhere to relax anymore and becomes determined to find an alternative sanctuary. He goes through several places in Chicago, eventually settling on a bench in a quiet park. However, Niles soon concludes that it is the territory of none other than Grace, who likes to sit on the bench after work to think about her patients. Niles and Grace's fight for the bench soon transfers to the workplace, and their minor argument turns into a dramatic one-upmanship contest. Meanwhile, Sebastian is having trouble adjusting to life as a lunch-boy again. Adding to that, he and Laura continue to feel awkward around each other. Daphne hones the psychiatry skills she's picked up over the years to resolve their tension, feeling that Laura's baby will need an involved father.

"Daphne and Edith" 7 195

When Daphne stays late at the practice to help Edith with some forms, the two end up discovering several things in common and becoming the best of friends. Niles isn't pleased with this development because he views it as flirting with the enemy, but Daphne is determined to keep seeing Edith. Their friendship creates rifts between Daphne and her social circles at the practice, forcing her to make a decision about her companionship. Daphne eventually decides to have one last night on the town with Edith to bid farewell to their friendship, but the two end up getting on the wrong side of the law – throwing Niles amid the chaos. Meanwhile, Sebastian is overcome with guilt after accidentally giving Laura caffeinated coffee with her lunch, and tries to make amends by saving the best baked goods for her. This causes arguments among the sweet-toothed employees, which Sebastian is desperate to resolve despite his non-psychiatrist status.

"Good Old Fashioned Sabotage" 8 196

After Sebastian's assistance in talking a suicidal patient down from the edge of a roof goes unnoticed, he considers quitting the practice to work as a psychiatrist elsewhere. Laura fears he will leave town if this happens, so she elects to sabotage his interviews wherever possible. This plan involves bugging his lunch trolley in an attempt to find out what his next move is, and Sebastian is all the more confused when he uncovers the listening device poorly hidden in a Madeira cake. Laura fears her pregnancy is affecting her judgement and eventually elects to stay with her parents in St. Louis for the first couple of trimesters. Meanwhile, Niles and Ron inadvertently mix up their patient histories, which drives them to make a stand against Edith about getting separate offices again. Edith reveals there has been a spare office available all along and she was testing them to see how long they would last. However, this offer comes with a catch, as Niles and Ron instead start fighting over the use of the new office for its peaceful and therapeutic views.

"Guy's Night Out" 9 197

With Laura in St. Louis with relatives, Sebastian becomes depressed around the practice and his lunches become a lot worse as a result. Ron, desperately needing a perfectly made delicacy that he's had as his lucky charm for years, sets on a mission to cheer Sebastian up. He invites Niles to take Sebastian on a guy's night out. Their first stop is naturally a strip club, where a group of four women have made an oath that this will be their final night on stage. Sebastian chats and hits it off with one of the women and is excited about seeing her again the next night, but is upset to learn she has left. Meanwhile, Niles fears for his credibility after one of the strippers he met comes to his office seeking therapy; and Ron is left wondering if he is doomed to bad luck when Sebastian's mood shows no signs of improvement.

"Cranes of Wine and Roses"  10 198

Niles is upset to learn his wine club is disbanding because too many members are leaving over political disputes. Niles becomes determined to get everyone back together, hoping to encourage them to re-live the glory days and just converse over a nice bottle of wine. In the process, Niles accidentally gets the former president back on alcohol after months of being sober, which in turn reveals the real reasons for the club's end. Niles enlists Grace to help him deal with the apparent drinking problems that are running rampant in his social circles but comes to believe that she was an alcoholic after she seems to know a little too much about the wine. Meanwhile, Daphne also faces the consequences of the wine club's closure when she is deprived of her weekly night in alone, so she seeks other activities for Niles to get involved in. Daphne runs into her ex-boyfriend Clive at the local YMCA and unwittingly gets involved in his car repair class.

"Ron Amok" 11 199

Justin is suspended from school for putting a whoopee cushion on his teacher's seat, leaving Ron to seek alternative care while he's at work. After running into an old med school buddy in the cafeteria, Ron flashes back to his days a jock and is horrified to realise what he has become. Ron decides to be more lenient with Justin's behaviour, quoting the old adage "boys will be boys". Niles is convinced that Ron's problems don't stem from a fear of age but rather fear of his son thinking he is lame. Before he can say anything, Niles is thrown in the middle of a series of pranks Ron and Justin have initiated at the practice, starting with their number one target, Edith. Meanwhile, Sebastian is less than impressed when he finds that the young psychiatry students have made his supply closet the unofficial hot-spot for fooling around.

"Shore Thing" 12 200

Edith announces a study will be held at the practice to get to the root of the psychiatrists, focusing on the lives of those who help so many others. Niles is less than pleased with this development, while guys like Sebastian can't wait to get in the spotlight. However, Sebastian is not happy when he discovers that the survey will be conducted by the sinister Chicago Tribunal tabloid editor and his former business partner, Ronnie Shore. As the characters go through long-winded interviews with Shore, Niles is approached by several psychiatrists who are afraid at how he might have twisted their words. Niles is determined not to let himself say anything that could be interpreted another way, but a slip-of-the-tongue results in Shore convincing everyone that Niles is unstable and could snap at any moment. Niles is consequently surrounded by frustrating new attitudes and everyone talking behind his back. Sick of it, he encourages the others not to attend their interviews. Ron is confident that he can beat Shore but is left dealing with rumours that Justin is not his biological son. Later, Laura arrives in town for a check-up at her OB/GYN and is thrown into an interview with Shore, whose twisted methods mean Sebastian is incorrectly thinking that Laura is considering aborting the baby. Meanwhile, Grace tries to convince Edith to abolish the study and make Shore leave and agrees to teach her some confrontational skills. Daphne fears further trouble for all after having a disturbing psychic flash which suggests that Shore will not take the news of his dismissal lightly.

"Fall from Grace" 13 201

The practice is thrown into an uproar when Grace accidentally makes an insulting remark about Christianity to a patient. Edith responds by bringing in June Archer, everyone's favourite Christian activist and intimidating businesswoman. June rallies for Grace's dismissal, having had a grudge with the woman ever since they met after Grace mistook her for the lunch lady. Edith refuses to fire Grace, forcing June to come up with an alternate plan to save everyone's skins. Grace is approached by a public access network, who want her to appear on a talk show. Hoping to clear everything up, Grace agrees but is made to look even more offensive thanks to June's friendship with the show editor. Edith realises June's endgame has become purely personal, so she asks Niles to resolve the situation. They are both surprised when Grace opts to quit her job at the practice and leave Chicago, feeling she needs a fresh start in another city. Grace bids farewell to her colleagues before departing on the El, with June not too far behind her. Meanwhile, Ron is thrown in the middle of a debate between Sebastian and Laura about their child's religious future.

  • Dr. Grace Lockhart's last appearance as a main character.
"The Greeter Good" 14 202

Laura heads back to St. Louis. With his career downfall and humiliating work at the practice, Sebastian becomes miserable, so Niles and Ron ask Edith to give him some more responsibility. Edith makes Sebastian the official greeter of guests and he enjoys meeting the weird and wacky faces that go by all the time. However, as time goes by Sebastian begins to feel bored, and he starts talking to the patients that come through. Sebastian enjoys honing his skills once again, but the other psychiatrists are annoyed when their patients don't show up as a result. Niles goes to St. Louis to speak with Laura and convinces her that she needs to learn to be civil with Sebastian if they are to raise a child together. Laura reluctantly agrees and returns to Chicago. Meanwhile, Daphne is blamed for a series of annoying chain e-mails going through the practice.

"With Fiends Like These" 15 203

Niles attends his college reunion with Daphne and is delighted when he hits it off with a group of geniuses he'd always admired. Daphne, on the other hand; befriends a jock, Clifford, who made Niles' life a misery for an entire semester. When Niles starts spending all his time in intellectual new social circles, Daphne meets up with Clifford for drinks and various other fun activities. Soon, however, Niles and Daphne are fighting over the use of the house, the car, etc., both requiring things for their friends. Neither of them is willing to admit that they were wrong when Niles discovers his new friends aren't as intelligent as he once thought, and Daphne becomes the object of Clifford's affection. Meanwhile, Sebastian and Laura's petty feuds continue when Sebastian decides to grow a beard.

"Town Stoning" 16 204

Niles is awakened in the middle of the night by a police officer in Seattle, who says that Gil Chesterton is in hospital. Niles is subsequently dismayed to realise Gil has him down as his emergency contact. Uprooting Ron and Justin from bed, pleading that he "can't face someone like Gil alone", the three of them make their way to Seattle. By the time they get there, they are sleep-deprived, irritable and aching all over due to flying coach. At the hospital, they run into Bob "Bulldog" Briscoe and Noel Shempsky, who are there waiting for Gil. Bulldog and Noel are arguing over who would be Gil's second emergency contact. All Niles wants to do is get his name removed from Gil's list so he can go home. Before he knows it, Gil has stuck him with the pot that got him into this situation. Niles and Ron must work out a way of getting rid of the pot before they are busted. Ron fantasises about kicking Gil's ass after he does a vanishing act. At the same time Niles must resolve the feud between Bulldog and Noel while Ron deals with Justin's new habit of stealing things; in this case, bedpans.

"Lover, Adventurer, Faker" 17 205

Laura is perplexed when she notices a spark between Sebastian and Edith and goes to Niles for advice. He sides with Sebastian, stating that Laura has given him no reason to think they are capable of a loving relationship. Laura reveals that her parents split at an early age and she doesn't want her baby to deal with the same problems. Niles encourages Laura to act on her instincts, but her reluctance to be honest with Sebastian results in a series of lies, starting with her "exciting new boyfriend", a handsome botanist adventurer named Andy Jones. This poses a problem when Sebastian requests a meeting with the man who might play a major role in his baby's life. Meanwhile, when Daphne cruelly snaps at Justin, Ron is angry, so she questions whether to tell the boy why she acts a certain way every four weeks.

"White Noise" 18 206

Niles is delighted when Edith asks him to assist her in interviewing psychiatrists for a position at the practice. However, Niles' excitement diminishes when he realises that Edith is adamant about hiring a black doctor to fill a quota demanded by Mead headquarters. Niles subsequently refuses to participate, angry because Edith won't even look at the highly qualified white candidates. When a mild-mannered young doctor named Wes Ford gets the job, Ron and Laura excitedly welcome him aboard. Wes requests to see Niles Crane, who was written down as the second interviewer. Ron takes Wes to Niles, but when Niles refuses to acknowledge him, rumours spread that he is a racist. Combined with Wes's overall niceness, Niles develops a bad reputation at the practice which could cost him his job unless he puts aside his ethics and simply says hello to the guy. Meanwhile, Sebastian fears Wes's arrival will cost him the only spare office, which he has been using as a base for his lunch-related responsibilities.

"No More Mr. Lunch Guy" 19 207

Sebastian is delighted when Edith offers him his job as a psychiatrist again, revealing they are under-staffed and she made a mistake in letting him go. However, Sebastian becomes overly cocky and starts demanding more benefits in exchange for his services, creating a feud between him and Edith. Sebastian is faced with apologising to Edith and asking for fewer hours when Laura expresses worries that he won't be involved enough in the baby's life. Meanwhile, Ron takes pleasure in the fact that the "shrew wife" his latest patient keeps complaining about is Wendy, his ex-flame and Justin's mother. However, Ron is torn about helping the man with his marriage because he is not sure if he wants him around Justin. Ron goes to Niles for help and is faced with the harsh reality that he is not always in control – which Ron, being the egocentric kind of guy he is, doesn't like one bit.

"My Son, the Genius" 20 208

David's thirteenth birthday is approaching, and Niles and Daphne are panic-stricken about him becoming a teenager. They are subsequently horrified to learn David would rather his parents spend the entire party upstairs so he can be with his friends alone. While in their bedroom, Daphne spends the whole time worried about how different David might become, and it's up to Niles to put her mind at ease. However, Daphne is convinced David is changing right before their eyes and decides to take a look in his bedroom. In her snooping, she discovers an IQ test that David has filled out. To hers and Niles' surprise, their son is a genius, with an IQ of 180. Niles is proud but can't help feeling that David's school isn't giving him enough of a challenge, nor are the sort of friends he chooses to spend time with. And David's loud behaviour downstairs has them both secretly wondering if there was some kind of mistake on the test. Meanwhile, Laura fights for an extension of her maternity leave when the baby is late, but Edith won't budge.

"After Work Special" 21 209

Edith's decision to have a supply of common drugs locked up at the practice proves to be a bad one when a junkie breaks in and steals several pill bottles. Edith is forced by the authorities to give a lecture to the psychiatrists on why drugs are bad, but she is more determined to uncover the real perpetrator. When Niles has an allergic reaction on his way to work, his physical demeanour makes him come across as a junkie and Edith is convinced that he was the one responsible. Niles desperately tries to prove his innocence, but as he learns more about addiction, he can't help but think that he has a problem with wine. Daphne is convinced that Edith's lectures are making people paranoid and tries to calm them down, chaotically. Meanwhile, Laura and Sebastian take care of Justin for the day, but their desire for a parental experience isn't helped by Ron constantly looking over their shoulder.

"Edith's Sister" 22 210

Edith prepares for a visit from her estranged sister Sylvia, who left her family years ago to pursue her romantic interest. Now Sylvia needs a place to stay after the guy decided to go back to his family. Edith reluctantly agrees but finds herself becoming exactly like her mother as she tries to prevent party animal Sylvia from wrecking the house. Edith goes to Niles for help, hoping to come up with a happy compromise, and Niles fears saying the wrong thing will make her have a low opinion of his work, and consequently re-consider his use to the practice. Meanwhile, Daphne has trouble accepting the responsibility that comes with being Laura's emergency contact for when the baby comes.

"What Happens in Vegas..." (Part 1) 23 211

Niles' receives tickets to one of the ritziest hotels in Las Vegas as thanks from a family for helping their son. Niles is reluctant to go because he always hears about how tacky Vegas is from his various social circles. Daphne, on the other hand, is excited and can't wait to hit the blackjack tables. Meanwhile, Edith announces the practice is closing for two weeks for rodent extermination. To the psychiatrists' surprise, Edith also gives them a bonus to make up for it. Sebastian gets the idea of doubling their cash by tagging along with Niles and Daphne in Vegas. Laura is jealous that she can't go because she is too late into her pregnancy, and Edith is determined to be her friend whether she likes it or not. In Vegas, Ron gets into trouble when it is found out that Justin has been helping gamblers cheat in exchange for cocktails. Niles is determined to make the most of the trip, for Daphne. When Daphne heads for a swim, Niles is horrified to encounter his ex-wife, Dr. Mel Karnofsky, who is there vacationing with her new husband. Niles agrees to have one drink with Mel so they can put their differences behind them but is unexpectedly kissed by her in the lobby. Niles pushes her away and says it would be best if they didn't see each other again, until he is informed by Sebastian that Mel's new husband is a wealthy and powerful businessman who plans on buying the casino, meaning he will have access to the security tapes. While swimming, Daphne's clothes are unexpectedly stolen by the jealous wife of a man who flirted with her at the blackjack tables. Back in Chicago, Laura suddenly goes into labour and Edith must drive her to the delivery room.

"What Happens in Vegas..." (Part 2) 24 212

At the hospital, Laura enlists Wes to get a message to Sebastian that she is in labour, and Edith embarrasses her in front of the other mothers. Back at the Vegas casino, Daphne finds cover in the security room and manages to snag a janitor's uniform. Before leaving, she is shocked to see a video of Niles and Mel sharing a kiss. Meanwhile, Ron must make it up to the owner of the casino after it was found out his son was helping several gamblers cheat, and ends up working the blackjack tables for the night. Sebastian continues to try his luck in several games, and after losing one too many times, he fears he has developed a gambling addiction. Before he knows it, Sebastian has lost everyone's plane tickets home, and he is involved in a dangerous game to get them back. Niles feels sorry for Mel after she tells him she is trapped in a loveless marriage and is afraid of getting out of it, although he later begins to wonder if it is an attempt to regain his love since her husband can close her practice. Niles agrees to meet with the man and inadvertently ruins his efforts to purchase the casino. Threats are made, and Niles finally decides that it is time to leave the dreaded city when he locates Daphne. Daphne tells Niles what she saw him doing and he is forced to do a little gambling of his own to explain what happened. Sebastian is told by a waiter about Laura's labour; unfortunately, he will never get there in time. Wes has managed to arrange a video set-up for them at the practice, and Sebastian happily watches as Laura gives birth to a healthy baby girl.

Episodes (Season 1 • 2 • 3 • 4 • 5 • 6 • 7 • 8 • 9 • 10 • 11)

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